Welcome back for another The Brady Bunch episode review! This week is “Vote for Brady,” which originally aired on December 12, 1969. It was the 11th episode to air and the 14th episode produced. This episode was directed by David Alexander, who only directed two episodes of The Brady Bunch, including this one. He has a variety of directing credits for a lot of shows, however, and his last directing credit was for an episode of Quincy, M.E. in 1978. This episode was the first one written by Elroy Schwartz, who wrote 9 episodes for the series after all. He is the brother of series creator Sherwood Schwartz, and he was a former Gilligan’s Island head writer. He also wrote several of the Gilligan’s Island reunion movies, including the unforgettable classic The Harlem Globetrotters on Gilligan’s Island. Elroy Schwartz also wrote for a variety of shows, with his last writing credit being  for an episode of Baywatch in 1994. A fun coincidence here is that in 1964, David Alexander directed an episode of The Munsters and in 1988, Elroy Schwartz wrote an episode of The Munsters Today. “Vote for Brady” is them meeting in the middle… even though they missed the middle by just a little.

Without further ado, let’s get into this week’s episode! 

Straight to the chaotic point.

The episode starts with Carol in the yard gardening, and Alice cleaning up random natural debris. Just after Alice compliments Carol’s gardening skills, Marcia’s voice calls out for her mom. Alice and Carol note that it’s after 3 pm, which answers the question I’ve been asking this whole time - when do the Brady kids get out of school - but raises so many more. Like when is their bedtime? How do they get so much stuff done after school? Anyway, Marcia is super excited because she was nominated to run for student body president. She tries to say who she’s running against, but Carol won’t let her get a word in edgewise. That’s when Greg arrives in the yard and announces that he is also running for student body president. Hey, at least this week the conflict isn’t going to sneak up on the Bradys. They know what they’re getting into from the very beginning.

Carol ambushing Mike immediately.

That evening, when Mike comes home from work, Carol catches him up on the political ambitions of their children. As they walk into the kitchen, Mike makes a noise that makes Alice make a stern face and turn on the light to look inside the oven. Carol tells Mike that Alice is making a cake and is worried that loud noises will make it fall. Poor Alice. The Brady Bunch only telegraphs tragedies. Carol and Mike continue talking about Marcia and Greg running for student body president against each other, and they conclude that their children will be reasonable about it. Okay, forget what I said before about the Bradys knowing what they were getting into from the beginning.

Phone Wars 2: Mike and Carol Probably Miss the Payphone

In the kitchen, the adults can hear Greg yelling at Marcia from the family room to get off the phone. Marcia yells back that she won’t. Mike and Carol enter the family room to intervene, and Marcia ends up slamming the receiver down on the phone. You know what, that just makes me miss a good phone slam. They’re so satisfying, and even though I have a good phone case and throw my phone at cushioned furniture, it doesn’t replace a good phone slam. But phone slamming is also rude, so Mike makes Marcia pick up the receiver and put it down again the right way. A lot of shows and movies cut out things people do in real life for accuracy, so I actually appreciate that even though it takes up ten seconds of precious screen time that accurate parenting was depicted. Greg is mad that Marcia was using the phone to make political calls, but when pressed for what Greg wanted the phone for, he admits that he wanted it for the same reasons. Mike and Carol then assign Greg and Marcia a half hour for their political calls in the evening to be fair. Since it happens to now be Marcia’s time to make political calls, she decides to use the upstairs extension and now I have more questions again. Like, since when?

Cindy's just got to fix her boxer stance but pretty good for an untrained six year old.

Upstairs, in the boys room, Peter and Bobby are arguing with Jan and Cindy over which of their siblings is going to win. Jan stomps her foot so hard it can be heard in the kitchen. Alice checks the cake. It’s still ok. Mike and Carol enter the boys room just as Cindy is threatening to bop Bobby. Parents always have such impeccable timing. They express their disappointment for how the kids are acting and tells them to be happy no matter who wins. The kids are not on board with this idea.

Images that proceed unfortunate events.

And now tragedy strikes for Alice. The cake survived the temper tantrums of six kids, but then she accidentally drops a cutting board and the cake falls. This is why everyone switched to cake mix.

What even is this spousal crafting project?

In the den, Carol and Mike work on a dollhouse. Who’s dollhouse? No idea. Will we see it again? Are you new? They discuss the situation with Greg and Marcia and decide to show their children that no matter what, their parents aren’t taking sides.

Carol giving Marcia a hand.

Carol goes to talk to Marcia in the girl’s room. Carol sets the climate that she is going to help both kids, which Marcia doesn’t like but does understand. Marcia explains that each candidate can spend $10 on their campaign but she doesn’t know what to do, and Carol gives her the idea to make posters. Marcia likes that idea, and they work on some ideas together.

"This will be great for brainwashing the other students!"

In the boys room, Mike loans Greg his tape recorder and shows him how it works. Greg is excited to make $10 worth of tapes that can be played on the loudspeaker at school. That’s going to be a lot of Greg talking. I did some research, remembering that I used to get C120s for very cheap in the 90s, and audio cassettes were newer in the 1960s so may have cost more but also would have been 1969 money. Anyway, for $10 it seems Greg could have bought one C90 tape. That’s an hour and a half of campaign promises. That’s a lot. The other students still have classes to get to!

Switching kids.

In the hallway between the girls’ and the boys’ room, Mike and Carol debrief and then decide to switch kids. You know, honestly, I’m just glad they didn’t have this switch in the bathroom. I feel like nobody uses the hall to get between the girls’ and boys’ rooms most of the time.

Greg's campaign team.

At school, Greg is excited to demonstrate for his friends the tapes he’ll have playing literally all day since we have scientifically proven he used a C90. Also, yes, any time I have a theory based on “this seems right based on what I Googled for 10 minutes,” it’s scientifically proven. You should know that if you’re going to keep reading these reviews. When Greg tries to play the tapes, though, nothing plays. One of his friends - I think Rusty but I didn’t write down the names in this part of the notes because I didn’t know them - suggests that someone erased his tapes. Greg immediately blames Marcia. This is Bobby stole Kitty Karry-All all over again. When, Greg? Wasn’t it in your room? Didn’t you get the tape recorder at night? You think your sister is a psycho who snuck in at 2 in the morning to erase your tapes and didn’t wake anyone up? This is why Marcia is the only Brady with academic awards.

Marcia is very thorough with her searching.

And then we just skip a whole day because transitions on The Brady Bunch are not the strongest. Marcia is in the family room, looking for her notebook paper that had her campaign notes on it. Jan and Cindy see her looking and offer to help. They go upstairs to help see if Marcia left them there. Greg enters the family room, angry, and blames Marcia for erasing his tapes. She says she didn’t even know about the tape recorder. However, Greg being so quick to jump to sabotage possibly leads Marcia to accuse him of being behind her missing notes, which makes more sense than his accusation. Greg insists he didn’t know, though.

A mystery is about to be solved.

Mike, Carol, and Alice enter the room to break up the argument. Greg and Marcia each make their accusations, and Greg’s insane bullshit isn’t addressed. However, Alice admits she accidentally threw away Marcia’s notes because she thought it was doodles on scrap paper and didn’t know it was important. Marcia accuses Alice of doing it on purpose and storms off. We’ve all said bullshit when we were angry, but now I’m questioning how Marcia is the smart one. How dumb is everyone else in her school?

Who wouldn't ugly cry after accusing someone they love of betrayal?

Marcia bawls her eyes out in her bed in her room. I paused right here to double check the production order of episodes. The Pop-Up Video for “The Honeymoon” said the best crier on the cast was Maureen McCormick, and in her book Here’s the Story: Surviving Marcia Brady and Finding My Own Voice, she admits that the tears in “Brace Yourself” and subsequent episodes are real - and I’m saving the rest of that information for that review - but this episode came before even in production order. I wonder if Maureen knows she could always cry easily. Carol enters and tells Marcia that she might feel better if she apologizes to Alice. Marcia does some mental gymnastics to try to justify feeling so mad but ultimately she knows Carol is right.

Cindy has issues.

Downstairs in the kitchen, Alice has recruited Jan and Cindy to help make Marcia’s campaign posters. Cindy’s poster looks like alphabet soup and she defends it by saying they told her what letters to use but not in what order. I’m pretty sure they gave you the letters in order, Cindy. Pretty sure nobody told you “just use the letters Mriaca for Marcia” like they expected a six-year-old to solve a word jumble she didn’t even know she was playing. I really understand Susan Olsen’s point-of-view about Cindy, I do. Marcia enters the kitchen and sees everyone making the posters, and she understands Alice did that for her. Marcia starts to apologize but Alice stops her and says it’s not needed. It’s a really sweet moment that I love to death.

Greg is really cheesing.

In the den, Mike talks to Greg to try to make him realize it’s ridiculous to blame Marcia for erasing the tapes. When Greg demands to know who else could have done it, Mike says, “you.” No, don’t worry, it’s not like some psychological self-sabotage or anything. Mike says that he’s accidentally erased tapes or not actually pressed the record button himself on that tape recorder. Greg admits that his father could be right. Then it gets cheesy with Greg saying other kids always think their parents are wrong but Greg doesn’t think that way about Mike. I mean it’s sweet but it’s cheesy.

Alice has more experience in brainwashing the masses.

Alice, it turns out, is as impartial as the Brady parents. I think it would have been fair to help Marcia with the posters but not help Greg since Alice accidentally sabotaged Marcia, but being impartial is even better. In the family room, Alice has recruited Peter and Bobby to help make Greg new tape. They do a catchy chant to promote Greg, and the boys ask Alice where she learned to do that. She tells the boys she used to be a cheerleader and they ask her to do a cheer. Alice obliges, but near the end of the cheer you can audibly hear her back fucking break. Poor Alice. We didn’t need to do all that to say she’s not as young as she used to be.

Mike thinks Marcia is a good politician.

Up in the girls’ room, Marcia reads her speech to Carol. Mike enters the room and makes some quips about running for Congress that equates to Marcia being a better politician than them. Mike suggests that Marcia and Greg could practice reading their speeches to the family. Marcia agrees.

The Brady kids are kinda rude.

Later, in the living room, Marcia reads her speech to the family. The boys look bored as hell, and at the end of the speech they don’t clap when everyone else does. This upsets Marcia and she ends up crying before the end of her speech. Then poor, living up to stereotypes Cindy starts clapping and Alice has to signal for her to stop. Carol gives Marcia a hug and tells her that if she’s going to run for any office, she has to expect that the opposition may be rude. However, Carol ultimately decides that this isn’t the moment for that teaching moment and admits Marcia shouldn’t have to expect it in her own home. The girls also get called out for not being any better during Greg’s speech. Mike points out that the Bradys will be a family longer than either kid will be in office and then sends all of the kids upstairs.

"Mom, why did you stop having fun?"

Here’s another weird ass “just guess the day and time” transition because as Carol is making a salad in the kitchen, Marcia comes in to ask if there is still paint in the garage for the posters. It just seems like a weird time to make posters after having been sent to your room, you know? Carol says where it is, and mentions golf clubs in the location of the paint. Marcia asks why Carol doesn’t golf anymore and Carol says it’s because she’s too busy being a Real Housewife of Clinton Way. I appreciated the actual parenting earlier in the episode, but this “just shoot the shit” side conversation feels like wasted frames. They could have used those precious seconds to have actual transitions. Before Marcia leaves to get the paint, Carol starts to ask her to drop out of the race since it’s Greg’s last year in junior high and Marcia will have two more semesters than him in school - real weird way to say year but it is what it is. However, Carol changes her mind and lets Marcia leave to get the paint.

Marcia is doing some top notch spying.

Meanwhile, in the driveway, Greg is meeting with his friends about the campaign. They don’t realize Marcia is walking to the garage and she stops to eavesdrop, which is high key shady as shit. Would you want Greg listening in to all of your campaign plans, Marcia? Rusty suggests that Greg could win if they spread false rumors to slut shame Marcia. Super gross, Rusty. Greg agrees because his big brother powers activates and he threatens to murder Rusty. Poor Rusty. If only he’d realized bros before hoes doesn’t apply to sisters.

All is right in sibling land.

At school, Greg gives his speech to the school. It sounds good, as far as school campaign speeches go. He gets applause. When Marcia goes to give her speech, she uses her time to drop out of the race and urge the people who were supporting her to vote for Greg. Wait, was there a third choice the whole time? I mean, obviously if you drop out who are they going to vote for? Greg almost can’t believe that Marcia is dropping out for real, but she confirms she is because he deserves to be student body president.

These two are not being very Brady.

Later, at home, Alice finally successfully makes a cake, I guess? I’d honestly already forgot about that earlier tragedy. The cake was made to congratulate the winner, but both Greg and Marcia’s names are on the cake. Marcia is surprised, but Greg had told Alice to put her name on it. Marcia and Greg are getting along again. Like… a little too well. Maureen and Barry’s crushes are showing. It’s weird.

Here we go again.

In the tag, Carol is cleaning in the girls’ room. Cindy calls out for her, excited, and Carol yells out she’s in her room. Cindy rushes in to tell her the great news that she was made crossing guard for the week. She’s six. I had to wait until I was in fifth grade before my school let me endanger my life by being a crossing guard. Carol is very happy for her. Cindy says she’ll never guess who she beat out for the position. Bobby enters the room crying, and Carol figures it out very quickly. Wait, did the school have an election for crossing guard? Also, Bobby is eight. Like, I would let the eight year old be a crossing guard over the six year old all day every day.

Growing up, I was very much aware that generations of people who like boys had a crush on Greg Brady. I get it, but I never had a crush on him. I’m the oldest kid in my family, and I had two little brothers. Little brothers tried to get you in trouble because it was funny. I secretly wished I had a big brother, and I wanted that big brother to be Greg Brady. This episode exemplifies why - no matter how you feel about your younger sibling in a moment, you just have to be willing to commit a homicide for them if it becomes needed. Greg did not even hesitate. We never do see Rusty again.

“Vote for Brady” is a fun episode that simultaneously splits the family along biological lines while being the first time those lines aren’t super acknowledged. Carol at one point says that the election has been turned into boys vs girls, making it seem like it was more about gender than who they’ve been related to longer. The only reference to the family being blended in this episode is when Marcia accuses Alice of helping Greg since she’s known him longer. Even though I’m sad that only the first season acknowledges that the Bradys were a blended family overtly, it is cool that this was actually a gradual shift and not one that came out of nowhere.

That’s it for this week! I’ll see you next week for The Brady Bunch’s only Christmas episode, “The Voice of Christmas.”